DRIFTING

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 17:22:18 -0700 (PDT)

An air of gloom was all around me as I was seated on the porch facing Ayala at 6 am. I think of you. I think of what I am feeling, I think of what love is, I think of the book I am reading about positive thinking. I think of Corinthians 13. I think of what love is AGAIN. I think of what truth is. I think about myself and think of what is it that keeps me hanging--I think it could be just my ego.

It's amazing how much you could think in a moment as compared to the time you spend doing all the stupid things without thinking--and how much good it will do the world if only a person could just think for each moment before acting or deciding to hold on or to even just believe in things.

I guess you are really a part of my ego--and that's the reason why I couldn't let go. It's not good, and sometimes it makes me really sad.
I wish a wind would come to blow all these thoughts away... .

It makes me feel sad when I feel this way. I guess this is just PMS sentiment that's creeping through me. I am mean to myself, I couldn't let myself free.

But for the past days you are drifting away again, this time it's within me. You are drifting inside--I couldn't hold on. Guess I am just tired. I am giving up. I guess I need to listen to myself. It's time to go, maybe I will be back someday, but not yet in the coming days. Goodbye for now... :-(